Dogen sitting at the bar

like a panicked emergency vehicle,

cuts through the traffic,

swimming through confused cars,

my anxiety cannot be traded,

for curiosity or anticipation, 

as it is borne of a visceral perception,

the immediacy of contingency,

and an empirical heart,

this anxiety is like a friend,

whom I've never known,

a stranger with whom I've shared my life,

watching,

robotic flashing reds, 

yellows,

greens, 

reflected in the grease,

of fatigued concrete,

I fall into a dream,

in which I am in a dark room,

reaching for a light switch,

when I find it,

I flick it,

but the room remains dark,

I can hear rain hitting the window,

it's a house I know,

I can hear distant voices,

like commentators at a baseball game,

I wake up.